tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
