so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
