That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
