i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
