omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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