I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just want nice things and good sex
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
