Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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