We're like a lot better than the average bears
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
