college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
