I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
