Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's Friday. Sex?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
