Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
