I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
