I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize