Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
