my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
