he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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