I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize