try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
