Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
