Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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