What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
