She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
