Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
