Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
