dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Green mimosas i think yes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
