it's like iHOP with fire
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
two words...techno handjob
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
