Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
