it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
