no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
