she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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