By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
third nipple confirmed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
