just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
