Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
