hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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