Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
two words...techno handjob
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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