If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize