clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I will be naked everywhere
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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