She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize