white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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