the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I love having hate sex.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
