My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
