I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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