you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
