Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
