ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
