dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
