Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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