After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
