My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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