everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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