The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
