after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
soo... how was my night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
