Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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