Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
