shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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