well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
