it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
