I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
