matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
