marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
