dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
